😤 I need to own up to my part of the problem

Turns out I'm not the most emotionally available friend right now. In an attempt to put myself first and be a little bit selfish I've gone ahead and made myself so unavailable that I'm completely out of reach with anyone else's pain outside of my own. To be fair to me lol, I was also trying not to become the token sad friend or spread my sadness to my other emotionally vulnerable friends and well I don't think it's working. 

Turns out I'm either too emotional, emotionally constipated or dead inside and I suck at setting healthy boundaries because I'm torn between still wanting to be a good friend, protecting my mental health and being selfish for once. And keeping my bad thoughts, feelings and emotions to myself well at least until I combust and it all spills over whoops!!!.

Now I'm stuck wondering how to get out of this mess. So many negative feelings and no idea how to deal with them, how to reconnect with genuine friends if I have any or survive on my own. 

So where do we go from here? That is the ultimate question isn't it?.

Trial & Error.