To be the First Born..........

The pressures of being a firstborn can be significant and traumatizing. As the first child, you often become the guinea pig for parenting styles and unrealistic expectations. This can lead to a lot of pressure to excel and set a positive example for younger siblings, a scenario which can often lead to resentful from all parties involved.

Here are some common pressures faced by firstborns:

• High & Unrealistic Expectations: Parents often have high hopes for their first child especially in the instance where they might have had to give up their own dreams for their children or just had to settle for their dreams remaining unfulfilled. More often than not such unreal expectations can lead to feelings of stress and anxiety.

• Responsibility: As the oldest, firstborns are often expected to take on more responsibility, such as caring for younger siblings or helping with household chores or eventually taking on the responsibility of caring for aging parents or even grandparents.

• Perfectionism: The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming for firstborns, as they often feel the need to meet their parents' expectations and sometimes even their extended family's' expectations.

• Comparison: Firstborns may feel compared to their younger siblings, especially if the younger ones seem to have an easier time or receive more attention. This can also be reversed, where the younger sibling feels stress from being constantly compared to the eldest sibling and can thus lead to a lifetime of resentment from the younger sibling to the older sibling.

It's important to remember that these pressures aren't universal, and every firstborn's experience is unique. If you're struggling with these feelings, it can be helpful to talk to a friend, family member, or mental health professional.

Would you like to discuss any specific challenges you've faced as a firstborn?