Dealing with Things That are Out of Your Control.

When feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it's incredibly helpful to identify what is and isn't within your control. Focusing your energy on things you can influence leads to more productive outcomes and reduced anxiety.

Here's a list of common things that are generally out of your control:

• The Past: You cannot change events that have already happened. You can only change your interpretation of them and how you respond to them now.

• Other People's Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions: You can influence, persuade, or inspire others, but you cannot directly control their internal states or ultimate choices. This includes:

  • What others say or do.

  • How others perceive you or react to you.

  • Whether others approve of you.

  • Whether others keep their promises (you can control how you react if they don't).

• The Weather: You can prepare for it, but you can't make it rain or stop a storm.

• Global Events/Large-Scale Crises: Wars, pandemics (like COVID-19), economic recessions, natural disasters – while they affect you, you generally don't control their occurrence or trajectory. You can control your response.

• The Outcome of Many Situations: You can control your effort, preparation, and attitude, but not always the final result (e.g., getting a job, winning a competition, a medical diagnosis).

• Other People's Beliefs or Opinions: You can present facts or arguments, but you can't force someone to change their mind.

• Time: You can manage your time, but you can't stop its passage or make there be more hours in a day.

• Your Genes/Innate Abilities: You can develop skills and optimize your health, but you can't change your fundamental genetic makeup.

• Aging: You can age gracefully and take care of yourself, but you cannot stop the process of aging itself.

• Traffic: You can choose your route and leave early, but you can't control the flow of traffic on the road.

• Sudden Illness or Accidents: While you can take precautions, you can't completely prevent unforeseen health issues or accidents.

What is within your control?

Conversely, much of what truly matters in your life is within your control. This includes:

• Your attitude and perspective.

• Your effort and actions.

• Your choices and decisions.

• How you respond to challenges and setbacks.

• Your self-care practices.

• Your boundaries.

• Your communication style.

• What you focus your attention on.

• How you learn from your experiences

• Your willingness to ask for help.

Recognizing this distinction is a fundamental step in building resilience, managing stress, and leading a more empowered life. It's about letting go of what you can't change and wisely investing your energy into what you can.